10 signs you might be a Taliban


General News
10 signs you might be a Taliban

10.  You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9.  You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

8.  You have more wives than teeth.

7.  You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6.  You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

5.  You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

4.  You've never been asked, 'Does this burka make my butt look big?'

3.  You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

2.  A common compliment is, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

And, the NUMBER ONE SIGN you might be a member of the Taliban:

1.  You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
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Rebate


General News
How to use your upcoming rebate

As you may have heard, the Bush Administration said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, if we purchase a computer it will all go to India, if we purchase fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatamala, if we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan, if we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

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